Lyrics... amazing stories they tell, feelings they evoke, truths you learn.
I've heard the song "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North all over the place before... but tonight, it's struck a chord.
The Lord knew that I needed to hear those words. To wake me up and for Him to speak so loud through that group to my heart as if they made that song just for me.
You know those times when you hear something and the truth of it hits you so hard that it almost feels like the wind is knocked out of your lungs and your stomach is wrought with knots in conviction?
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
The lyrics pinned me to the wall...
Unfurling my heart's disposition right before my eyes.
I know my God... not fully... but I know who He is to me at this point in my life. He is my ultimate Comforter, my unwavering Lover, my encouraging Supporter, my merciful King, my funny Joy, my gentle Corrector, my sweet Jesus... my Beloved.
Why do I take my eyes off of Him?
I don't just know about those traits... I know those traits because I've experienced them.
AND YET, I am still searching as if He is not enough...
The amazing discomfort and exhilaration that courses through me when I know He is lifting my face is hard to explain. I can definitely understand the urge to turn away from Him. The discomfort is mostly because my Perfect is choosing to look me in the eye and still proclaim His Love for me despite my downfalls, imperfections, unfaithfulness and disobedience. The exhilaration... well, His Presence is fulfilling.
And it's that... His Fulfilling Presence... that draws me to Him. Broken shambles that I am at times are secure in His Hands that continually hold me.
It's in those moments when nothing matters anymore in His Embrace... my hopes, my daydreams, my aspirations... they fall away when I dive into His Presence.
I love these moments with Him as awkward and fulfilling as they are to me.
I don't run to Him nearly enough, but I know that He is working in me just the same and that where I am at does not worry Him. He knows how I'll grow in Him and when I will... and so, for now, I am not going to worry if I am close enough to Him every single day.
I'm going to relax and fall into His Embrace right here, right now.
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