But then again, I wonder if I really want to see it.
Wouldn't that take the fun out of 'discovering' the picture?
But, right now, it's hard to see the fun through my impatience.
And if I were to see the big picture, would I be overwhelmed at the size of it... it would be bigger than what I would imagine. Too big perhaps? Inconceivable?
Yet at times like this, I find that I desperately want to see it all so that I know where to go and where I can avoid mess-ups, so I can be happy that I know it all.
Perfection and control...
That must be it.
Lord, how can I surrender those to you?
If I was not so dead-set on perfecting my walk and controlling my life so that I won't make mistakes, then I might find that I actually enjoy figuring out the big picture along the way with You.
It's hard to even fathom giving up control.
It takes faith and sometimes I wonder if I have enough.
Mustard seed, I know.
It's scary to walk out life like this because it requires faith. I associate it with having no control and being okay with that. Which I'm not at the moment, to be perfectly honest.
Walking by faith and not by sight...
No wonder why it's not by sight. If it were by sight, then I could see the way and I could control it. But, I'm not my Lord, and I cannot see the way.
So here I am taking one step at a time into what seems to be a fog. Things will clear up and things will disappear at times, but no matter what, Jesus is faithful to be beside me whether I can see Him clearly or not.
He is the only Guide I need.
I know about this Truth and am learning how true it is and will continue to learn how true it is in an even more real way.
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