Sometimes I wonder when I cling to the Lord at times, if I do it just to get away from my present trials and troubles? At times I just don't want to deal with an issue or possibly get hurt by it, so it seems to make sense to run to the Lord with that, laying it down at the cross so I don't have to handle the situation...
Oh, but how hard it is to do that and follow through with it!
Because sometimes what's in front of me seems to be too good to be true, and then I give in to thinking that I'll be hurt and disappointed if it doesn't turn out like I want it to turn out.
So I struggle with my feeble attempts to cling on to it just because it seems so good.
But I also struggle to get away from it just in case it will backfire.
How horrible is that? How normal is that? How human is that?
Fear is not of the Lord, I know, but it is easier to cower in fear of disappointment than to bravely walk forward believing that my God will protect me.
I'd like to say that I don't doubt God's ability to protect me, but that wouldn't be entirely true. That is a statement that I want to say with my whole being... not just my mouth... because if I truly did NOT doubt it, wouldn't I be walking forward rather than cowering in the corner attempting to protect myself?
"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
The power in His Word is awesome, reassuring and life-giving. I don't always grasp everything to be had in Scripture, but I love it when He reveals bits of it to me like this particular Scripture that has so much to it that it takes a while to "chew" through it all bringing satisfaction and strength with every "bite."
He makes known to me the path of life. Not the entire path, but He lets me know what I need to know at this given moment. And that is what I need to recognize.
The fear of future disappointment often makes me miss out on so many current opportunities... If only I would rest and rely on the Lord to take care of the future and just be content with my present, it seems that this whole fear thing would be solved.
Help me Lord because things are so much easier said than done.
